Why is it that when you go away for a while the world goes to hell in a hand basket? Or it decides to unleash Nitro Blasterz on us. Now I’m not the type to watch the news but my God did you know there’s a very real chance Trump could actually be the president of the United States? Never did I think I would be writing that sentence. We now live in a world that the Simpsons predicted for a laugh. So it seems you can make this stuff up.
The future is happening right now. It’s only a matter of time till our robot overlords enslave us all marching to endless repetitions of oppression to a Sam Smith album but that’s not scheduled until next Wednesday. For now, fear not because we still have video games. Thank God.
I can switch the news off, put my headset on and immerse myself into my own little bubble of happiness. That’s until I get absolutely owned by someone camping in the corner of Rainbow Six: Siege; “YOU WERE JUST WAITING THERE WITH A SHOTGUN IN THE CORNER, THANKS MATE…” Now he’s tea bagging my dead corpse. The ultimate insult. I guess it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. It seems even the online world is fraught with challenging obstacles.
I wanted to call this article a Feminist’s Nightmare, because the game I have been forced to review today at gunpoint is just that.
We were sent a copy of Nitroplus Blasterz: Heroines Infinite Duel (ニトロプラス ブラスターズ –ヒロインズ インフィニット デュエル-). Heard of it? Me neither.
According to Wikipedia, the source of all my bad journalistic skills. Nitroplus Blasterz is a fighting game and not soft-core porn as it may seem. You can play as 32 characters. The game crosses over heroines from various visual novels and games released by Nitroplus, as well as those from manga and anime series that Nitroplus writers have been involved with. I’ve never heard of a single one.
I stared blank eyed at the character selection screen. Do I play as this hypersexulised and barely dressed prepubescent Japanese teen or this other teen with even bigger breasts. I’m just not sure! The choices are seamlessly endless. In the end I chose one of the girls wearing a bear hoodie as I felt she was the most appropriately dressed, having two young daughters I approve on any clothing that keeps you warm and you can pretend to be a bear as well so double win for practicality.
The gameplay is simple. Mash buttons and fight with lots of bright colours in the background and strange sounds. The visual element is quite impressive for a 2-D game. I do think that’s probably the most redeeming aspect for me.
Are there better fighting games out there? Yes of course! Go and get Super Street Fighter IV if you want a decent fighting game, as it’s probably the best out there.
However if you love your anime and hate feminism get this game. Living in your parent’s spare room watching weird TV series I have never heard of, cursing because all the nice girls are in love with someone else, probably called Chad. He probably hits up the gym like a boss and posts on Instagram about his “GAINS BRO.” She will never love you. Give up now find someone to love you for you and stop pretending you’re going to move to Japan.
I found this game strangely weird like a colourful nightmare. Unfortunately though the lack of clothing and the hypersexualised Japanese cosplay characters is where this game truly falls down. It puls too much focus away from other important aspects such as stage design and character differentiation. Sorry guys, it just tries too hard.