Welcome back dear reader, to this week’s installment of I’m a cheap Ba**ard, also known as bargain bin corner, where I get myself filthier than an NYC rat, dragging a full-sized pizza slice down New York’s finest subway system and subject myself to games so you don’t have to. Just know that I don’t receive a single penny for any of this and do it for the sheer punishment as I’ve been a very naughty boy.

Let me set the scene, it’s Thursday night I’m trying to avoid playing league as it makes me a toxic person. Family time is out of the question, they’ve already had two episodes of bake-off out of me, there’s no way I’m sticking around to watch I’m a celebrity. I’ve got an herbal tea because I’m an awful person and right now, Spotify is stuck on a permeant 80’s playlist. Currently we’ve got “Everybody wants to rule the world” by Tears For Fears playing, I need something to do, so I browse epic store again like a glutton for punishment.

MUD RUNNER is this week’s free game. I absolutely hate simulation games and frankly, I don’t understand people’s desire to live out some fantasy as a truck driver or in this case, someone who’s tasked with moving around old soviet machines, from bog’s armed with nothing more than a haggard map and a compass. At least it’s not Euro truck simulator, as that gets really awkward when to advance to the next level, and you need to ruin a truck stop bathroom and kill a random prostitute.

Some of you may know Joe, he’s lurks in the shadows of Technuovo some say he’s part goth, others just think he’s not a fan of human contact, Joe is the sort of person who would play this game and build some truck/soviet rig and dress up to drive in it.

I’ve avoided this for far too long lets go.

Mud Runner says it’s the “ultimate off road experience, putting the players in the driving seat” (where else would they be?).

It has 19 vehicles to choose from and you get to explore the “Siberian immersive sandbox”. Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve never sat there thinking, wow I really want to explore the Siberian wilderness, everyone knows it’s just bleak and depressing.

Every vehicle looks very green and boring, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything exotic, they’re all trucks after all! The dashboard has a strange superimposed view from the menu and the mirrors don’t actually display any reflections, which is strange given I would assume this would be a core mechanic.

The environments are very grey and green heavy. A high point, if you can call it that, was hitting a river where the water textures didn’t look too bad in the sun and for a second, it felt a bit more cheery.

The strange thing is, the game itself isn’t actually complex, there doesn’t seem to be too much focus on things like gear ratios and punishment if you get them wrong, which games like euro truck simulator are known for. This begs the question if it’s not going to be hardcore authentic, who is this game aimed at?

Honestly, I’m unsure. It’s dated, far too drab, the selection of vehicles is tedious and the game isn’t really challenging. This is one to avoid for sure and I really can’t wait to stop playing.

One to avoid even when its free 5/10.