Goats then. Think Grand Theft Auto on a smaller scale, but you are a goat. With horns. That can butt stuff. Well butt just about anything, any one, or any anything.

There seems to be complete freedom in Goat Simulator to do as you please. No story, just jumping and butting stuff. It is the most fabulous ridiculous waste of time ever – and that’s what makes it brilliant.

There are soooo many things to unlock as you go. Baaa in the air. Lick a flower. The list feels endless, and that’s how it will get you.

Suddenly, you want to find more stuff to do after blowing up petrol stations, breaking into gravity test facilities, and gate crashing parties.

There comes a moment after about half an hour that you suddenly don’t just want to jump off the top board at a swimming pool on the trampoline in the empty pool below just to see what happens. There is that moment where you want a little more structure, and you start seeking out new deeds to do, just to be able to say you have done that one.

This is a super cheap game, and the initial play area seems rather small at first, but it is packed full of stuff to do.

I would assume this will grow if enough people demand it, so get on with demanding it.

Even the word goat sounds daft, and this is crazed. I am not sure about its longevity unless a structure is introduced, butt for now (ha, see what I did there) it is utterly brilliant.

Good luck to you Coffee Stain Studios. This is the sort of crazy thinking games need some times.

And picking April 1 to launch makes perfect sense for this one.

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Stef Murphy

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